(get this , that makes it off the record). So father pay your child support but what is of more important spending quality time with them. Im paying basically double that 801 a month for 2 teenage kids. You havent stopped to consider that most men lose their kids 90% of the time. I definitely agree but by that same token there are parents who are expected to pay over $1000/month to a parent who doesnt even make that to support a child. The system provides a pathway to a broken home, It facilitates divorce, and leaves the father with little to start over with. Its more than enough for me. My own years as single father were lean,. Get this adjusted modified you should only be paying like 1k for 2 kids per month. Not a chance as they will say Im fully capable of making the money I once did! Ive paid thousands in CS and they have 4 vacations planned so far and when I get them those 48 hours all I can do is a park and ice cream. 4) Think about getting a vasectomy. When his son came out as gay she had her new husband beat him up she told him she hopes he gets aids and dies. Their work schedule; for example, if the breadwinner is on the road a lot, this can impact child custody. I have a lot of debt, but no regrets. We receive not one dime of help through cse or fed gov. Dads with evidence of moms keeping them from seeing thier kids, should definatelty get in trouble. I am a woman who flat out refused to take child support when the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma. Once last comment, what is sad also is so many women would use this unjust system. Repeal child support and you would see a reduction in the number of divorces. Read most all of these comments. The best interests of the children. 51% deadbeat MOM, by current Wa. He paid her 735 while he was in the military he got injured in the military now he is a disabled vet and despite multiple attempts to get this amount modified they havent followed through with it for these past 10 years . Fathers Against unfair Child support and jail time over support. 2) Always wear your condoms when having sex. Maybe this elections cycle is a good time to get this on the radar of those seeking election. If he loses all his money which woman going to consider relationship with him? I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. I had a daughter with my now ex wife while in the service, she decided to divorce me on my first deployment without discussing it with me before I left. It is what it is. I have never understood why child support is based on gross wages. She abused him to the point he stopped coming home and slept in his truck. You can have an incredible relationship with someone who does not reside with you by the way. Oh, The Horror. We both decided to go out separate ways, however that doesnt mean that he has to support me . While if my husband missed one payment, the courts would be all over him, calling him a deadbeat. We work together as a team to support her and we communicate. It should be 50/50 automatically and child support should never give more money to one parent than the other. His family avoids me as well because I honestly think they are embarrassed. You can have a wonderful, healthy relationship with someone with whom you dont reside. Having the higher earner shoulder more of the financial responsibility, just because they can makes little senseespecially when they are ones who see the child the least! That will eat up $750 a month, by itself. Under child support law, child maintenance must be paid to the parent with the main day-to-day care of the child. The putative father does not have the luxury, after the fact of conception, to decide that he is not ready for fatherhood. I just went to court in Connecticut last week to have case transferred from Rhode Island to Connecticut, as the mother has lived there for several years now, and never got it transferred. Dont know where we are going. but then i dare you to speak the truth not just your truth. I am disgusted with our family court system, I am disgusted with women who play the system and take advantage of their childrens father, and I have a new understanding why for some fathers it is easier to wash their hands of the entire situation and walk away. The second, a young man who claimed his ex was supposed to be sending papers for him to sign over his rights so her husband could adopt and she has not followed through in a timely manor, $300 perge 30 days. According to your logic, if Dad can only find one day a month to be in his kids life, Mom should be expected to feed Kid 3 meals a day, drive Kid everywhere, pay for school costs, etc. When I came back, she had full custody and stolen a substantial amount of money from my account. This problem can be easily solved with the help of an attorney. After there youngest turns 5 they should should be required to work part-time . Yes the system is broken, anyone whos been through family court knows this is true. Introducing the Unfairness of Child Support for Fathers: A Closer Look Child support is an issue that has been under the microscope for decades. I know a fact that this lady does not use child support money on our child, she uses it on alcohol and other things that have nothing to do with the child, but hey I digress. These are the reasons why I am pro-child support and pro-child support enforcement. An get mad if she loses her job. While they want to raise their children, this becomes frustrating when the mother of their children is refusing to work. My daughter has never been close to me since. That is pennies of the cost of raising my precious spawn. The entire financial system, DCSS, and the corrupt IRS needs a complete overhaul or they should get the fight club treatment (see end of movie). I had all 3 of our kids full time and I worked full time. You sound completely impossible to co-parent with. ; The child is struggling academically under the care of the custodial parent. I know Im not good with all this court stuff but anyways they got me for contempt of court for not having that paper after trying to explain that I had brought it the first time well I have been making payments seems my first court appearance thankfully for family and my fianc but the judge is saying that isnt good enough and they want a paper from my doctor with certain information on it that my doctor is even confused about and all the judge keeps telling me is Im looking at a lot of jail time and I may look like one of these guys who has been in and out of the pin but Im not in a great dad and love my kids the only people they are hurting is my children and they dont see that and I cant figure any way out of this I am paying my support and a little extra on my support then Im ordered to it isnt a whole lot extra but Im making a effort and concistent and my court appointment lawyer that I finally got said that she doesnt understand what there issue is either its like they have it out for me because the way I look and when I told the judge I have been paying child support for 16 years he said that doesnt count for anything wth does it count for Im very disappointed in the child support system and my kids are going to loose a father because these courts screwed up and nobody is to blame at the courts when are they to be held accountable for there actions. Giana Messore licensed in AR only Little Rock, AR. My ex is 47. Not long after the piece ran, Congress passed a law forcing states to adopt stricter enforcement practices when collecting past child support debts. I say we dont separate fathers from mothers in this battle for new legislation and justice. Im Im nor cal. I know because my ex-husband tried to run me up on one. Saying she owe her friend payments of 125 a week for watching my daughter. The state uses federal matching funds from teh federal taxpayer to balance their budgets. None of that matters in my support payments. The judge made me prove how much money I made. Fathers today still need support when experiencing divorce and child custody proceedings. Ive been paying child support for 19 years in the state of NY and to date its at $148,450 PAID! The Judge asks my council to hold a telecon with my exs council in the Judges chambers. Daycare is not a need. Aso for child support it is nothing more than stealth alimony that is why the awards are so high. If she was good before with what she received why complain and ask for more now Theres something that has to be done, I struggled for many years as a single mother but that didnt stop me. Both of those parentsBOTH are responsible to financially raise those children. The system is completely broke. In the meantime, their support payments are a fraction of what it costs to raise their children. Dead beat dad no. Fathers' rights advocate, Elliot Schlissel, explains New York fathers' rights concerning child custody, visitation and orders of . I contested for a while but in the end realized I could not keep her where she did not want to be. I raised my daughter essentially by myself, I was a stay at home father and her and I were with each other every day. Please let me know . Worat thing is my son wont see most of that money, he wont have a college fund because I still have to get him clothes that fit and school supplies. You file a support modification to eliminate the daycare portion. The system is flawed but too many people take advantage and its disgusting. So, needless to say, I didnt get the support case transferred due to the fact that I still owed $3000 in arrearage (not an issue, I have had automatic payments coming out of my check for the past 12+ years going to current support and arrearage). As long as he is involved in there lives thats all that matters. Children dont have to live with you!!! See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. But goes to Vegas and Cancun all the time.. and when he takes the kid , he makes him babysit so he and his new wife can go and get drunk on a bar and party. I have since raised all of the children, with the Lord and the crumbs he provided for child support. Those payments run from tens of millions to hundreds of millions of $$ per year. No court is going to take those kind of accusations at face value with no evidence, especially in a child custody case. You could even not tell the guy til the kid is 17ish then get him for back child support. Not only that, but I actually offered him 50/50 custody with no child support on either side, and he turned me down thinking he wouldnt have to pay that much because I work. 3. "Judges, the bench, the bar, even lawyers, they think it's not in a guy's DNA to be a stay-at-home parent . Orders can always be modified and they are based on ACTUAL gross income. They dont. I was confused as how this could be a debt even before a child support order existed?? Work hard, get a better job and you wont have to worry about it. I did go back to file for child support, but at this point, I know Im wasting my time. Two brain surgeries later, a programmable PE shunt placement, a shunt revision a year later due to it malfunctioning and 5.5 weeks of extensive radiation now my daughter is legally blind. Sorry youve been done so wrong that your mind has been clouded. I have my two kids on my health ins & dental. Therefore I think we should get together and start out by creating an email template where each of us can tell a small story of our complications and struggles as men who are doing their best to be good fathers yet are being held back by child support enforcement, and create an emailing list to each of our states representatives, then move up the later to committees and senate and congress and all of their aides and secretaries and literally devour their email lists with our movement and make them know that we will not be ignored any longer. Im sorry, but I dont believe your story for a second. The children should solely be with mom for consistency and stability. Dont lump every man into your situation . They dont honor cap. They used to call cps on me once a year, and when tha never worked, they waited for the paternal grandma to get a settlement from a minor car wreck so that they could essentially purchase my daughters, who became dropouts and my oldest a teenaged mom. So you resent him for getting you pregnant, then you resent him for having freedom.the freedom to be robbed of fatherhood. I can barely pay my rent at $600/month for the 2 bdrm Im required to have to continue my visitation schedule. Something has to be done Dprks007@gmail.com. He can keep sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation (his license was revoked after a year of non-payment. Both man and woman decide to take responsibility of that action equally. If a threat follows a demand, its extortion. They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents. Spoken like someone who expects someone else to foot the bill. When 54% of my paycheck goes to my ex and 46% goes to my family of 5 how is that fair. Some of you men are just EVIL. I was lucky enough to work an assignment to the state where her and our child lived so that I could be closer to him as Summers and holidays were just not enough. 8 out of 10 male friends in the circles of my work and personal life have been through the same asymetrical court systems spanning multiple states. Though I do not get in his personal business, others tell me what hes up to. My son is now 12 i never asked nore put my sons father on child support all i asked of him is to be there for hes son and buy him clothes and shoes and any school needs . Pay up, or go to jail (debtors prison).. The court rejected his argument that, since a woman may avoid motherhood through abortion, the man had a right to disclaim responsibility for a child born against his wishes. I could literally go on all day. We all parent together and have boundaries to ensure my son can love all his parents- my kid is almost 18. Eager for a fresh perspective. But the system is unjust. I now have to pay the same amount for 1 child as I was paying for two just 5 months ago. the mother is so nasty that there are roaches in their house. I pay $1,741 per month for two kids when the mother makes over $140k a year. Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. Child Support is a SCAM! Especially in our justice system that preaches equal rights. I feel so bad for my daughter. So the men pay and the women get the tax breaks and tax deductions. I got a hotel room and bought four window units. She overindulges them, but doesnt save for their future. Max, please dont take your life for someone that probably didnt deserve you. And their reason is because they want it to be paid before the child hits 21 years old. My current husbands ex wife takes almost $1000 a month from us for 2 kids. All of this is satisfactory to our horrible flawed court system. Of course she has never taken me up on it thought. CS in my state is a calculation based on the number of overnights each parent has, their salary, if they have other children to support, etc. Check out our Virginia Child Support Calculator. Thought I would mention, there are numerous laws on the books, not statues, but laws! It was set at about 25 percent of monthly gross wages for the minimum wage back when the support order was put in place back 10 years ago or so. You will just have to represent yourself. I fought just to get my children every other weekend and week for week during the summer when they arent in school. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. An increasing number of children being born out of wedlock. His girlfriend dont even take care of her children. Daycare, my foot. I would of got in all sorts of trouble. We all bleed red and eat bread. I dont sue my ex boyfriend for the time and money I invested, its my lost! I got the full scene on video and got it online for divorce proof later on. Was even told that by the Johnson county mediator with my ex there at the same time. My ex wife was ordered to pay $55/wk, but is now $60G behind because shes never been enforced to pay. Ive been on tough situations but never did I bother there dad because as a mother we always find a way to make money. File for modification. Our child support attorneys at Pittsburgh Divorce & Family Law, LLC see incorrect and unfair child support arrangements all the time. Anyway, when we finally did break up, I had received a notice, claiming that I owe 16,000 in back pay. Finally when the three your time it was up we got paperwork saying we could request a modification it took four months before we got any response after the request and now even though the mother said the kids do not live with her he is having to prove that they live with him before they will change anything. Your judgement obviously stinks! I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. 3) It would help to listen to Tom Leykis on line. They will remember. 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